Note: I transfered this post from the previous BBS.
I edited a few things to make it easier to read and follow along with. Other than that; this is the ridiculous conversation that took place last week about shaving your balls:
[17:47] <Belial> yo, dennis[17:47] <Dennis> yo[17:47] <Belial> that guy was looking for you the other day. was pretty pissed. said he wanted to lay one across your chin.[17:47] <Belial> i figured you knew him personally[17:47] <Dennis> Who?[17:47] <Belial> DEEEEZ NUTTTTTZZZZ[17:47] *** Belial (Belial!~joe@admin.shenaningans.thezoneirc.com ) has parted #thezone[17:48] -irc.thezoneirc.com- *** Notice -- Received KILL message for Belial!~joe@admin.shenaningans.thezoneirc.com from Dennis Path: jock!ircop.jock.thezoneirc.com!Dennis (Die)[17:48] -irc.thezoneirc.com- *** Global -- from OperServ: Belial is now an IRC operator.[17:48] <Syber> lol[17:48] *** Belial (Belial!~joe@admin.shenaningans.thezoneirc.com ) has joined #thezone[17:48] * ZoneServ sets mode: +o Belial[17:48] <Dennis> Dick......[17:53] <Belial> i'm gonna go wash my balls and drive like an hour to pick up my brother...[17:53] <Belial> ...at 12am[17:53] <Syber> www.cleanbutt.com for that[17:53] <Belial> peace to the motherfucking zulu nation and shit[17:53] <Syber> i've got a brochure right here on my desk[17:54] <Belial> do you shave your nuts?[17:54] <Belial> and your ass[17:54] <Syber> shave is a harsh word[17:54] <Syber> groom is the word[17:54] <Belial> right[17:54] <Belial> blade or nair?[17:54] <Belial> i heard nair can burn[17:54] <Syber> the ass gets bleached and waxed[17:54] <Belial> you seriously wax your ass?[17:54] <Syber> lol no[17:55] <Syber> that ride is closed[17:55] <Belial> i'm thinking about shaving it all[17:55] <Funkwheat> oh man[17:55] <Funkwheat> Check this shit out[17:55] <Syber> the thing is you can't do it yourself[17:55] <Belial> but i just don't want itchness[17:55] <Funkwheat> The company that I worked for before[17:55] <Syber> and i dunno who i'd be willing to let get that close to my sac with a sharp device[17:55] <Funkwheat> You know, the one that is borderline going out of business...[17:55] <Belial> well i was asking my buddy about it because he fucking shaves his balls like a pro[17:55] <Funkwheat> I just checked my Email from there which is apparently sttill active[17:55] <Funkwheat> and uh[17:55] <Syber> you've seen them[17:55] <Dennis> Nah you don't wanna shave it all[17:55] <Belial> i'm all worried i'll cut myself[17:55] <Funkwheat> CFO sent out an Email about the shit[17:55] <Funkwheat> fucking hilarious[17:56] <Syber> about what shit?[17:56] <Syber> the shit about not getting paid?[17:56] <Funkwheat> well[17:56] <Funkwheat> Just in general[17:56] <Belial> why not, dennis?[17:56] <Dennis> I shave my balls because it's the only way she's gonna suck 'em[17:56] <Funkwheat> Cause I guess they promoted someone[17:56] <Syber> i can barely be bothered to shave my face once a week[17:56] <Funkwheat> To callcenter manager[17:56] <Funkwheat> Since the last one quit[17:56] <Funkwheat> for obvious reasons.[17:56] <Belial> well yeah[17:56] <Belial> i mean[17:56] <Syber> see that's the problem right there[17:56] <Syber> you start setting the bar high[17:56] <Belial> that's obviously a main reason for me shaving my balls[17:56] <Syber> and she won't touch you unless you're all fucking put together[17:56] <Funkwheat> but uh check this out[17:56] <Belial> but keeping up with that shit will drive me nuts[17:57] <Belial> i'm lazy shaving my face[17:57] <Funkwheat> He worded the first paragraph SO bad[17:57] <Syber> you should get electrolosis on that shit[17:57] <mc> ha[17:57] <mc> haha[17:57] <Belial> now i have to shave my balls and shit[17:57] <Dennis> Because when it starts to grow back, it itches a little and if you do a lot of activity, you can get some chaffing[17:57] <Funkwheat> To all:[17:57] <Funkwheat>[17:57] <Funkwheat> First, a sincere Thank You for all of the extra effort each of you have and[17:57] <Funkwheat> are still making to help the company reach its goals. The end is in sight![17:57] <Funkwheat> [17:57] <Funkwheat>[17:57] +Bender> Funkwheat, I'm currently tracking 71 nicks using 15279 bytes.[17:57] +Bender> Funkwheat, I'm currently tracking 71 nicks using 15279 bytes.[17:57] <mc> <Belial> but keeping up with that shit will drive me nuts[17:57] <mc> fucking.. zing[17:57] <mc> heh[17:57] <Belial> ha[17:57] <Funkwheat> "The end is in sight!"[17:57] <Funkwheat> That is NOT what you say when a company is borderline going out of business[17:57] <Funkwheat> lmfao[17:57] <Syber> lol[17:57] <Belial> you don't recomment nair or anything?[17:57] <Funkwheat> like... Yeah, we all know the end is in sight.[17:57] <Belial> nare[17:57] <Funkwheat> but not the way you're saying[17:57] <Belial> whatever[17:57] <Syber> !seen deeznuts[17:57] +Bender> Syber, I don't remember seeing deeznuts.[17:57] <mc> lol[17:57] <Syber> and you're not going to with that attitude[17:58] <Dennis> I never tried nair, but they make nair for men now[17:58] <Funkwheat> heh, that's not what he meant, but[17:58] <Syber> mair[17:58] <Funkwheat> That's what he sounds like[17:58] <Belial> i wonder how that shit feels on your junk[17:58] <Belial> i might try it[17:58] <Funkwheat> Wait, are we talklin about shavin our nuts?[17:58] <Syber> yeah man blades are not meant for curved surfaces[17:58] <Dennis> pubes are pretty coarse hairs, I doubt nair would even work without leaving it on long enough to burn your nuts off[17:58] <Belial> but first signs of burning and i'm definitely off that shit[17:58] <Syber> haha[17:58] <Syber> which reminds me...[17:58] <Syber> i saw a shaver the other day[17:59] <Belial> yeah, but it's not like my nuts are covered in hair[17:59] <Syber> it's an afro[17:59] <Belial> i'd like to nair my ass though[17:59] <Belial> wait..[17:59] <Dennis> The problem is that it's sporatic hair, and if you never shaved it before, it's like 3 inches long[17:59] <Belial> alright that didn't come out right[17:59] <Syber> nah first you take the clippers to that[17:59] <Syber> with a guard[17:59] <Belial> but you get what i'm trying to say[17:59] <Dennis> 3 inch long nut hair isn't a pretty thing[17:59] <Syber> that way you can get it under control without the danger[18:00] <Syber> THEN[18:00] <Syber> you move on[18:00] <Belial> christ...you might be right[18:00] <Belial> well listen to this[18:00] <Dennis> Do it on the number 1[18:00] <God> •[ss]•[18:00] <God> •[ss]• Ladies and Gentlemen, #TheZone's hourly Kick Lottery has begun!!![18:00] <God> •[ss]•[18:00] <God> •[ss]• ...and the results are in:[18:00] <Belial> so my boy is telling me he just kind of pulls on his sack[18:00] <Dennis> THen shave with a new razor[18:00] <Syber> lol[18:00] <God> •[ss]• We're going to have a kick![18:00] <God> •[ss]• ...our winner, in this hour's Kick Lottery is................[18:00] <Belial> and shaves that shit[18:00] <God> •[ss]• Dennis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![18:00] <God> •[ss]• CONGRATULATIONS Dennis. Pack your bags my friend because,[18:00] <God> •[ss]• YOU[18:00] <God> •[ss]• ARE[18:00] <Belial> and he never gets cut[18:00] <God> •[ss]• OUT OF HERE!!![18:00] <God> •[ss]• Ladies and Gentlemen please give Dennis a round of applause if and when he or she returns to #TheZone .[18:00] <God> •[ss]• Thank you, and we'll see you in an hour.[18:00] * Dennis was kicked by God (•[ss]• Congratulations, winner of the [18:00] Kick Lottery!)[18:00] <Syber> i dunno[18:00] *** Dennis (ennis!Dennis@ircop.jock.thezoneirc.com">Dennis!Dennis@ircop.jock.thezoneirc.com ) has joined #thezone[18:00] * ZoneServ sets mode: +o Dennis[18:00] <Belial> so my boy marcel is like[18:00] <Belial> yo i'll do it[18:00] <Dennis> Yea, you gotta get the wrinkles out to get all of it[18:00] <Funkwheat> I'm glad to say[18:00] <Funkwheat> I've never shaved my damn nuts[18:00] <Syber> i don't know how i feel about standing there yanking on that shit with my cock pointed at my face[18:01] <Belial> he shows up to work the next day and he's like "i'm never doing that again"[18:01] <Syber> bent over like i'm about to do some autofelating[18:01] <Dennis> lol[18:01] <Belial> i'm gonna try it[18:01] <Syber> have a shaving mirror all down on the ground[18:01] <Dennis> It's no big deal[18:01] <Syber> with your leg up like captain morgan[18:01] <Belial> that's the only way[18:01] <Syber> right[18:01] <Syber> i might see something i don't want to[18:02] <Syber> you know what the other issue is[18:02] <Belial> if i cut my nutsack i'm gonna fucking go ballzlistic[18:02] <Syber> once you shave that shit[18:02] <Syber> you're going to look stupid[18:02] <Belial> why?[18:02] <Dennis> ballistic[18:02] <Syber> you'll have to shave the happy trail[18:02] <Syber> the legs[18:02] <Syber> everything[18:02] <Belial> i know, dennis[18:02] <mc> no kidding[18:02] <mc> just keep it trimmed[18:02] <Syber> otherwise you're going to look like a forrest fire broke out on your dick[18:02] <Syber> and you managed to get it under control before it spread[18:02] <mc> nice analogy[18:02] <Belial> what?[18:02] <Belial> shave my legs because of my nuts?[18:03] <Belial> what kind of track you have going on?[18:03] <Syber> you're going to have bald ass nuts sticking out[18:03] <Belial> that shit doesn't connect[18:03] <Syber> no i realize that[18:03] <Belial> haha[18:03] <Syber> but you can't JUST shave your nuts[18:03] <Belial> that's true[18:03] <Dennis> Sure you can[18:03] <Syber> you gotta trim the pubes too[18:03] <Belial> oh dude[18:03] <Dennis> Your nuts aren't black with hair[18:03] <Belial> i didn't tell you?[18:03] <Syber> at that point your leg hair may or may not be longer than your pubes[18:03] <Syber> you're opening a can of worms dude[18:03] <Belial> i'm thinking of doing away with the pubes too[18:03] <Belial> completely[18:03] <Dennis> No[18:03] <Belial> no?[18:03] <Dennis> No[18:03] <Syber> nah that's a disaster in the drawers[18:03] <Dennis> Just trim it on a number 1[18:04] <Belial> so just keep that shit low cut?[18:04] <Syber> fade that shit[18:04] <Belial> yeah[18:04] <Dennis> Chicks don't like guys with shaved pubes[18:04] <Belial> that's not true[18:04] <Syber> cut it into an arrow[18:04] <Belial> i've yet to know a chick that likes hair in her mouth[18:04] <Syber> well...[18:04] <Dennis> 1. When you're fucking, the stuble cuts them, 2. You look like a little boy, 3. They think you're trying to make your dick look bigger[18:04] <Belial> pfft[18:04] <Syber> i've yet to meet a chick who can reach far enough to where hair starts[18:04] <Syber> yeah that's right[18:05] <Syber> i said that[18:05] <Belial> a little boy with a larger penis than before[18:05] <Dennis> I have, Syber[18:05] <Syber> yeah and when you do[18:05] <Syber> it's awesome[18:05] <Syber> although i can do without the gagging[18:05] <Belial> the stuble cuts them?[18:05] <Belial> who the fuck is telling you this?[18:05] <mc> lmao[18:05] <Dennis> If she's shaved[18:06] <mc> i'd like to nominate this best conversation ever[18:06] <Dennis> There's been worse[18:06] <Syber> lol[18:06] <Syber> best and worse[18:06] <Dennis> We used to be up till like 4 in the morning talking about the stupidest shit[18:06] <Syber> you know if this conversation happens a second time[18:06] <Syber> we're all automatically gay[18:06] <Belial> lol[18:06] <Syber> so let's get it the fuck over with[18:06] <mc> lol[18:06] <Syber> exhaust all the questions[18:07] <Syber> http://www.headblade.com/[18:07] <Belial> ass hair is definitely going[18:07] <Syber> that's what you need dude[18:07] <Syber> i'd use that shit on my balls[18:07] <Belial> that's all i'm saying. i'm not down with dingle berries[18:07] <Dennis> Inside the crack, or the whole ass?[18:07] <Syber> yeah no cherry stems[18:07] <Belial> inside the crack[18:07] <Syber> braid it together[18:07] <Belial> my ass cheeks aren't hairy[18:07] <Belial> yet[18:07] <Syber> yeah at some point it happens[18:07] <Syber> unless you're asian[18:08] <Belial> haha[18:08] <Dennis> Yea, I shave mine...they get long...and you'll sit there for like 20 minutes and a roll of TP wiping to get clean[18:08] <Syber> fuck you ozzy[18:08] <Belial> that's awesome syber[18:08] <Dennis> That one is definately a hygenic move[18:08] <Syber> why can't they make an asshole shaver[18:08] <Syber> that's like the nose clippers that don't fuck you up[18:08] <Syber> or what's that one thing that let's you clean up your haircut[18:08] <Syber> everyone in the commercial looks like a tool[18:09] <Belial> the first shave is going to be horrible[18:09] <Syber> you know what i'm talking about?[18:09] <Syber> that thing that supposedly cuts hair but doesn't hurt ever[18:09] <Belial> ohhh[18:09] <Belial> yeah[18:09] <Syber> i wonder if you could jam that in the crack[18:09] <Dennis> Joe, King of Shaves shaving gel[18:09] <Belial> homeboy with his massive back hair[18:09] <Belial> haha[18:09] <Dennis> $5[18:09] <Syber> have it do a pass through[18:09] <Dennis> Best shit[18:09] <Syber> like flying a plane through the grand canyon[18:09] <Dennis> For that kind of work[18:09] <Belial> yeah[18:09] <Belial> good call[18:09] <Syber> and it's definitely work[18:09] <Dennis> It is[18:10] <Syber> you're going to be doing this shit twice a week dude[18:10] <Belial> i'm gonna clean up with a baby wipe first[18:10] <Syber> cancelling dates and shit[18:10] <Belial> i know[18:10] <Syber> "nah i can't go out tonight i have to wash my hair."[18:10] <Syber> "....then shave it off."[18:10] <Belial> haha[18:10] <Dennis> Nah, once you keep up with it, you're good[18:10] <Belial> that's the only thing i don't want to be doing[18:10] <Syber> you fuck that up dude[18:10] <Dennis> It only takes a few minutes[18:10] <Belial> shaving my ass for an hour twice a week[18:10] <Syber> and every shit you take will be bloody and painful[18:10] <Dennis> LOL[18:10] <Syber> lol[18:10] <mc> haha[18:11] <Syber> i'm logging this whole shit[18:11] <Dennis> He shaved his brown eye with a straight edge razor[18:11] <Belial> not to mention the walk[18:11] <Syber> haha[18:11] <Syber> nevermind you gotta blow dry it[18:11] <Syber> get those loose folicles out of there[18:11] <Belial> hmm[18:11] <Syber> i dunno how your ass works but mine stays closed all the time[18:11] <Syber> and fights with fury to stay closed[18:11] <Belial> yeah[18:12] <Syber> i'm always pinching loaves in half because my ass just doesn't like being in that state[18:12] <Belial> we'll see what happens[18:12] <Belial> i'm gonna go low profile on the pubes[18:12] <Belial> do away with the sack hair[18:12] <Syber> pluck it[18:12] <Belial> oh hell no[18:12] <Syber> how many hairs can really be on there[18:12] <Belial> one is too many[18:12] <Syber> 100[18:12] <Belial> haha[18:12] <Belial> i don't know about that[18:12] <Syber> you won't feel it after the first 3[18:13] <Syber> spray your nuts with that spray for sore throats[18:13] <Belial> i want to try nair[18:13] <Syber> it will go numb[18:13] <Syber> yeah let me know how that works out[18:13] <Belial> i'll do a small spot[18:13] <Syber> just fill like...[18:13] <Belial> so basically i'll get the whole thing[18:13] <Belial> ZING[18:13] <Syber> a shot glass with nair[18:14] <Syber> then dunk one ball at a time[18:14] <Syber> and when you dunk it yell "and the crowd goes wild!"[18:14] <Belial> tea bag the nair[18:14] <Syber> right[18:14] <Syber> lol[18:14] <Belial> lol[18:14] <Belial> that's awesome[18:14] <Syber> i'm teabagging my vegas shot glass[18:14] <Syber> i'll brb[18:14] <Syber> haha[18:14] <Belial> lol[18:14] <Belial> i'm gonna look mad stupid buying nair at the store[18:15] <Syber> that's how you can rate if the girl is a keeper though[18:15] <Syber> if she'll do this shit for you[18:15] <Syber> i can't see that shit... you do it[18:15] <Belial> yeah[18:15] <Syber> but no she has to do her own ass too because i want to continue pretending she naturally has no hair[18:15] <Belial> haha[18:15] <Dennis> Buy the "Nair for men"[18:15] <Syber> same as i don't want to be around if she's taking a shit[18:15] <Syber> girls don't shit[18:15] <Dennis> It's in a grey container and looks like deoderant[18:15] <Syber> as far as i'm concerned[18:16] <Belial> you use it, dennis?[18:16] <Syber> if they were smart they'd make that shit heat activated dude[18:16] <Syber> so you could put it on as lube[18:16] <Dennis> Nah, but I saw it next to the shaving creams[18:16] <Syber> and then jerk off[18:16] <Syber> and boom[18:16] <Syber> all your hair is gone[18:16] <Belial> good call[18:17] <Belial> fuck man i don't want to drive an hour[18:17] <Syber> you'd rather shave your ass[18:17] <Syber> than drive an hour[18:17] <Belial> haha[18:17] <Belial> on a pillow[18:17] <Syber> that's going to be my new marker[18:17] <Syber> lol yeah[18:17] <Syber> the donut pillow[18:17] <Belial> the good thing is[18:17] <Belial> marcel is going with me[18:17] <Syber> for hemmerhoids[18:17] <Belial> my boy from work[18:18] <Belial> so it won't be too bad[18:18] <Syber> oh so you can continue this conversation[18:18] <Belial> yeah[18:18] <Belial> haha[18:18] <Syber> haha[18:18] <Belial> he's the one that tried it after billy was telling us[18:18] <Belial> and said never again[18:18] <Syber> haha[18:18] <Syber> well on that note i'm going to go home before fucking 10pm for once in 2 weeks
17 1/2 Month Update: Things are going great. Balls are squeeky clean and as smooth as Darc's face.